The life of a pseudo SAHM..... Chicago Family Photographer

I have wanted to be a Mom ever since I was 14 years old.  My Grandmother had 10 kids and I always wanted to be just like her.  I am the second oldest of 5 girls and I thrive on chaos.  Our house was never quiet, trying to be alone was almost impossible.

My Grandmother was a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM), my Mom was a SAHM for most of my life.  Despite the chaos, we always had a family dinner, Mom was always there for all of our sports and activities.  We may not always have seen eye to eye but each of us knew we were loved and supported in all of our interests.

I wanted to be there all of the time for my children, the good, the bad, the everything.  I pictured life with my kids as constant activities and art, cooking healthy, always singing, teaching them everything under the sun and never raising my voice.

I then had my oldest Viola at 35, after a 10 year absence from my photography I went on my own again with my photography studio.  4 weeks after signing the lease on my new studio space I found out I was expecting.  My world completely changed.  I was photographing clients for boudoir and glamour.  After finding out I was pregnant I wanted to focus on families and children as well.  I also wanted to spend as much time with my child and take at least 3 months to myself for a maternity leave.... to bond with my child.

I lasted 10 days..... 10 days into my 3 month intended maternity leave.  I needed interaction with other adults, I needed my creative outlet.  I started off slow by photographing 3 clients a day, and slowly moved up to 30 clients a week.  I brought Viola to the studio with me almost every day.  I was breastfeeding exclusively, she refused a bottle.  I either brought her with me or scheduled shoots around her feedings and when Dad was home.  I didn't want anyone else to raise my child.  I wanted to be a SAHM, but I also wanted my career.
I wanted to be there for every milestone my daughter experienced.

When Viola was a bit over a year (15 months after moving into a larger studio space) we found out I was expecting natural triplets... we were floored!  I got used to the fact that we would have 4 kids under 4 (my big family, woo hoo!) and started thinking about hiring associate photographers and figuring out how I would be able to work in addition to caring for my children.  We lost the triplets at about 10.5 weeks and then became pregnant with our rainbow baby Oona a couple of months later.

Oona arrived and I was going to finally take 3 months to adjust to having 2 girls, to enjoy the summer and bond with my babies..... I lasted 5 days this time and went back to work!  Obviously being a full time SAHM is not for me and I am OK with it!  My parenting style is "what may work for me, may not for you."  AND THAT'S OK TOO!

I yell, I scold, I am a mean Mommy at times.  Trying to juggle owning a business and being there for my kids is insane.  I feel like I'm being pulled in many directions at once.  I need to work better on scheduling when I am in work mode and when I am in Mommy mode so no area will suffer.  Who am I kidding, there will always be an area that suffers.  I'm exhausted all the time, I complain a lot, but at the end of the day I love it all and wouldn't trade it in for anything.

I was interviewed and photographed for an article on SAHM's in the Chicago Tribune. 

I really wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom more than I am, but it really isn't for me. I am beyond fortunate to have a career I love that provides me with the flexibility to work and be there for my girls.

I brought the girls to my studio before photographing headshots for a friend/client.  I figured I would get some updated shots.  Again, what I conjured up in my head didn't happen.  Viola wanted a yellow balloon, Viola ripped out her cute hairstyle then started to cry when I put her hair in a ponytail.  The girls wouldn't sit together.  More time was spent chasing Oona, placing her and attempting to run back to take her photo.  I was a hot sweaty mess per the norm.  I love photographing my girls but it's easier photographing someone else's kids!

Here are some of my favorite images from the recent shoot of my girls.

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